Thursday, December 29, 2005

Multi-Purpose Posting

Just a quickie to document a day in the life... but for those of you not wanting to read the geekiness and treacle, I know why you're here, and I've injected some cartoony goodness, as well:



1.2MB WMV file; music: So obvious, I will not mention it!

(No cat was placed in needless discomfort in the making of this video clip. No, seriously! I set up the Canon GL-1, let him out, and he was outside for a total of about seven minutes, which is pretty typical for him when it's in the low 40F range.)

I'll be getting my car tags tomorrow, but I neglected to say why the rush. :) I'm driving to Clarksville tomorrow night to stay with the ladyfriend. Call it an early New Years celebration. Can't be driving 50 miles on a holiday weekend without valid tags, y'know! Not sure what Cheatham County charges for registration, but it's got to be less than Davidson, hm?

Why so quick? Well, I think I have the notebook's display problem figured out, but I've been known to be very occasionally wrong on tech issues. :) If all goes as I think it will go, I can hang out for a while. I think the Toshibook's display problem only occurs when it's operating in a cold environment; I suspect there's an expansion/contraction issue that's causing a connection (probably in the "sleep switch" that activates when the display/lid is shut) to go the wrong direction. So, no probs while in the condo or the laundrette -- quick problems when it's cold outside and I'm at the WGOWC. The one time it was cold and I used the notebook for a while at the WGOWC, I'd been using the notebook for several hours previously at the condo, so the internal temp was high enough to prevent the issue. If I had a can of "freeze spray" (probably Freon -- used to be able to get it at Radidio Shark, back in the day; not sure if it's still available), I could pinpoint and fix this, I bet.
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Just Do It

Please alert all your friends (especially your winger friends) to this, please. Succinct, and important.

Good News!

I have established contact with the lady who was trying to contact me about this job. Atriots who were online early this morn may recall there was some confusion -- the woman had left a phone number that did not seem to be in service. Sure enough, she had said "455-nnnn" when the actual number was "445-nnnn."

Turns out this is not a temp job, but a direct-hire, and the training class starts on 1/16/2006. She asked me to resubmit my résumé, adding in my very temporary recent call center experience, as that will make a big difference to those who are doing the hiring, sayeth she.

So, here I am -- after days of the Toshi notebook behaving fine, the display wouldn't even light up when I got out in the cold this morning. So, three blocks back to the condo, grab the flatpanel, keyboard and mouse, and here I be, again. Some diety thinks my life is too easy, hmmm?
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Detachment Anxiety

Let's face it -- cats are not really all that smart. Mine, for instance, thinks any reasonably small, shiny object is something to paw off into the floor, whenever possible. Once it's in the floor, he's not at all interested in it any longer. However, they do have some reasoning skills. Witnesseth:

See, he knows when I get the notebook case out, that I'm preparing to leave the condo, in search of WiFi signal. Apparently, he didn't want me to leave.
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

These Bricks Are A Threat!

... to the security of the United States!

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Monday, December 26, 2005

Yeah, I'm Awake

... now, that is. Dammit, Jim!

I was actually trying to set up the DVcam, as Curly was in the midst of "talking in his sleep" -- dreaming, apparently -- and I knew y'all would get a kick out o' that. My movement in setting up the tripod, etc., woke the li'l furry bastid up, so I waited until he was asleep again (or so I thought), and snapped this with the stillcam.
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Sunday, December 25, 2005

Sorry, Eli

I just can't do it.

Why? Well... because. :) First, I'm anti-list-making, and I've known that for a long, long time, now. I used to bitch and moan at the endless laundry lists of "100 greatest guitarists," etc., on the very first music discussion list I found on the Innernets, back in 1989. The reason is this: I'd rather get to know someone through a conversation, over a long period of time, rather than put together a mental construct of them by looking down their lists of important whatevers. I'd rather know the why behind the list items, than to simply read or make a list.

And sure -- I could make such a list, but it would be boring and unimportant to most, and leave too many wondering which items were actually serious, and which were purely flippant (and I assure you, some of my choices would be assumed to be flippant when, indeed, they would not be!).

So, let's just talk, instead.
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Post-Xbox Lemur Cat

Lemur Cat
Lemur Cat
What do they feed you?
Lemur Cat
Lemur Cat
It's not your fault!
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

Not A Creature Was Stirring...

... not even a fat-assed brown tabby.

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Friday, December 23, 2005

Sniff, sniff


"I know there was a bird right here..."

Curly really enjoys the balcony, even when it's cold outside. Of course, he enjoys it for longer periods of time when it's warmer, but he still wants to go out there when it's below freezing... often, only for a few minutes, sure. But then, he comes in, gets warm, and ten minutes later, he wants to go back out, again.

No matter how warm, though, the eventual crying at the door starts (see below). I had a good shot of Curly standing on his hind legs, pawing at the glass, in his quest to regain entrance to the condo, but unfortunately, I neglected to switch off the flash before taking the snap (dammit!).

Now, for personal news: Still no news on the job front. The Toshi notebook is behaving well on an external monitor (in fact, I put this together at home, and decided to take my chances on the notebook display working long enough for me to post it, and hopefully to talk a while with the rest of y'all -- it's just a drag to haul a monitor -- even a flatpanel -- a few blocks to sit in the cold to blog). For those who missed it, my computing issues are two-fold: 1.) The notebook's display panel is intermittant, and; 2.) WiFi signal is no longer available at the condo. #2 might be resolved by the construction of a yagi antenna... more to come on that, later.

The ladyfriend and I got together last night, and watched Elf. I'd never seen it, and she'd wanted Bad Santa, but it was unavailable at the local Blockbuster last night. So, we curled up and stayed warm and cozy, and watched a ridiculous holiday flick.

Now... what have I missed?
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Zardoz!

The crazy guy is back in the laundrette -- started talking about the movie, Zardoz -- no shit.

This is the guy that was off on his racist rant last week, and about his wife leaving him for a trucker...
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Quick, Quick!

May only have a moment or two, before the display craps out on Toshi-San again, so...

If I don't see ya's for a while, best wishes. Fighting notebook worries and lack of WiFi, so, it may be a while before I'm back with consistency. Pray for me. :)
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Merry Christmas

... an' all that jive. :)

Posting will be sporadic, since I'm roaming for WiFi signal these days... but as my Holiday gift to all my loyal fans (heh), I give you a "paint-the-schools" story that Bill "Falafel" O'Reilly won't even touch. Yes, I bring you... the non-war on Christmas!



And yes, Blogger sucks, since it can't properly interpret width and height attributes in HTML tags, goddammit! WTF is so hard about displaying an image in the proper size ratio...?!?
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Sunday, December 18, 2005

No Huddle

Every day, we show up to work 15 minutes early for a "pre-shift huddle" meeting, where we're told what numbers we need to be strong on for the day, etc. Cheerleading meeting. So, I arrive early today, to start checking my held orders, etc., when the boss walks in, and announces there will be no huddle today.

Instead, he does a "duck-duck-goose" through the rows, glancing down at a list in his hand, and asks me and eleven others to follow him into the huddle room. Once inside, he thanks us for our hard work these last couple of months, and says that our contracted assignments are ending -- today. The needs of the business are such that they need to retain flexibility in staffing, he says, and cutbacks are being made throughout the sales staff in order to meet those needs. He asks us to turn in our badges, and clear out our cubes, and, as he handed each of us a $25 Target gift card, wished us each a Merry Christmas. All five people in my training class are gone, as well as seven of the folx who'd been there for a month or two prior to our arrival.

Obviously the Christmas rush is over -- no PCs sold this week will ship by 12/25, so... "our services are no longer needed."

And that is that, as they say.
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Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Smear Of Vaseline

What with all the boudoir shots I've been putting up -- and the fact that someone from playboy.com hit the bloggie the other night(!) -- I figured I'd do a soft-focus Photoshop treatment of this extremely precious shot of Curly that I caught last night. Awwwww.
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Friday, December 16, 2005

Pre-nap Ritual

1.) Ah, nice place for a nap!
2.) Better make some biscuits here, first...
3.) Hmmm, well... screw it.
4.) I'll curl up beside the pillow, instead.
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

What IS it

... about me that causes crazy, middle-aged men to want to bear their souls to me? Fuck, I had one customer this week tell me about his divorce from a Mary Kay Latourneau wannabe, who bedded a 15-year old kid while she was working as a child care provider... and just now, as I've been trying to do some laundry here at the condos, some nutjob old kook was telling me about his wife who ran off with a trucker, etc., and then tellin' me about how his son just had a heart attack, and his dad just died, etc. Then, he went off on a racist tirade, complaining that a white man can't even make $7/hr. any more, blahblah-wtf?!?-blah.

Crazies, leave me the fuck alone, please.
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More Catblogging Friday*


*See previous post for details. :) Curly, meet Photoshop; Photoshop, Curly.

Outdoor, poolside bloggin' tonight -- my anonymous benefactor at the condo has vanished, completely. No WAP there, at all, now. Hmmmm.
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Early Curly

Catblogging Friday* has arrived!


* It's my damned Friday, anyway... work week bein' Sunday-Thursday, an' all.
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Two Jobs

I applied for two jobs:

Job One

Job Two

Maybe I won't go to dHell, after all. :)
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Up Next: The Last Straw

Okay. I've come to terms that I work in a Chinese garment sweatshop. Except that I'm American, and my sweatshop is in America, and instead of cheap Wal-Mart t-shirts, we churn out PCs.

I about lost my shit entirely today, though. I had a customer who had called because the coupon code he was trying to apply to his online purchase was not working, so he thought he'd try his luck with me, on the phone. I check the coupon, it is valid, but not on the system he's chosen. Fine -- I configure a system almost exactly like the one he had configured which would have been eligible for the coupon he wanted to use (25% off this particular model, where the system price was $999 or more). The coupon would still not apply. I put the man on hold, called our "help" desk. Oh, they say, since there's already $100 off the system (and that's the way the system is offered right now), that the coupon can't be combined with that deal. So, I ask the boss, he says to call the help desk again, and ask them to remove the $100 instant-off. Did that. Coupon still not working. Boss says to call the help desk again. Again, they can do nothing. Customer is pissed, and wants to complain about false advertising, etc., so I transfer him to customer service.

A sure-fire sale -- one that would have made more than half my margin quota for the day -- shot down in flames because no one outside the sales reps are accountable for jack shit. And the motherfucker of it is -- that call counted AGAINST me since no sale was made! Goddamnit! I hate this bullshit!
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Saturday, December 10, 2005

Saddam Baldwin

I bet there'll be Schwetty Balls on, tonight.

Is it even worth the trouble? I have not been a regular viewer of SNL in a very long time, but I've been nearly universally disappointed the times I've tuned in.

Ah well. Might as well...
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Mission Accomplished

SNPA achieved. This is SNPA #2, and I'm apparently watching Moonstruck (although not closely; too busy blogging and petting Curly), so it looks like I'm toasting Cher, here.

Isn't this the color of beer? It's lovely. It must be consumed from a pint glass, so that the aroma wafts into one's nostrils, and the hoppy goodness infuses itself into the brain, directly.

Mmmmm.
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Be Right Back

Off to pick up six of these.

Yeah, I wasn't gonna drink beer tonight, but... wtf. Hoppy nectar of the gods, brewed in Chico, California. I can still work in a few of these, and make it to work by 11:30 a.m. tomorrow, can't I?

If not, fuck it. But I know that I can.
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My Fundie Mom

... is apparently fighting on the wrong side in the War On Christmas! Her latest e-mail missive to me is titled "Happy Hollidays," (sic); quick! Get Falafel Boy on the line!

Bill may have a little trouble ordering his Christian F-16s to napalm a little old lady who looks like an older version of Aunt Bea, though... from whom I got my shocking good looks, btw (haw!). But seriously, don't I look like the potential spawn of Aunt Bea...?

To her credit, Mom closed with "Hey, speaking of Christmas and gifts.....keep the money I sent you as your gift...okay? I wish I could help out more but to see you kids saved and living for Jesus would be more than enough for me & [my husband]."

(emphasis mine)

Well, God bless you, Mom. I know your heart's in the right place, regardless.
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Friday, December 09, 2005

One Last Snap


... for the evening. He's been napping in the bed for some time, today. Really, he's been within a few feet of me all day, today (except for the short time I left the house to grab some Fat Mo's). What a great cat.
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The Game

Why are you always looking at that thing, Dad?

Actually, as the photo below makes clear, Curly's playing a little game with the furniture. What you're seeing is a couple of cheapo assemble-it-yerself Mission style plant stands that I connected together with a bit o' hardware to create my bedside nightstand/notebook table. The units came with these cute li'l rounded plugs, which cover up the screw holes (note the missing plug on the right in the photo below -- Curly's victim). So yeah, that's the game -- try to claw the plugs out.

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His Favorite Napping Spot

Amongst the dirty socks and whatnot. The human stink that says "safety."

Curly rarely jumps into my bed, and never when I'm sleeping or trying to sleep (except for the time that ladyfriend spent the night -- jealous critter!) but he's been joining me as I sit on the edge of the bed, blogging. He's here, now, lying against my leg, and occasionally reaching a paw out, to ask for another stroke or skritch. He's such a good li'l buddy to have around.
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The Brewhouse West

No, I don't even know her name. We didn't talk long, but she decided she wanted in the picture, so... here she is.

I was going to put up the photo of all three of us -- pierced-tongue girl, myself and the landlord -- but once I saw that there was a height/weight thread on Eschaton, I thought better of it. :)

The SNPA was cold and tasty, the conversations lively (mainly catching up on the landlord's band involvements, and other musical topics). What more could one ask?
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Thursday, December 08, 2005

I have a cat and a camera

... an' I ain't afraid to use 'em!

Hi, I'm Curly!He's been hiding his face all day when the shutter trips, so I thought I'd get this one up. He came to me as I was sitting here on the edge of the bed, and started begging for attention. So, he got a good petting session in, including the whole cat massage. Then, he was off to chase imaginary flagella...
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Peaceful On the Western Front

Fire! Fire!No war on Christmas at the Crack'Ho Barrel, nosirree-Bob. The musical selections were my first clue -- one Christmas carol after another, and even a very religiously-themed one, where a full 10% of the lyrical content involved Jesus, Christ, messiah or similar words. That one was a syrupy faux-country tune... go figure. I forgave them, as they also mixed in Johnny Cash's "Fulsom Prison Blues," and Bill Haley's "Rock Around The Clock."

I guess someone needs to let Bill Falafel know that there is a refuge for weary, hungry Christian warriors... and although they used to be anti-gay, apparently they've changed that tune. However, I hear O'Really prefers French cuisine, and the closest thang I could find on the menu was Mama's French Toast Breakfast (pictured at right). Of course, I ordered this in honor of The Falafel Man's winning of the Bronze, Silver & Gold in Olberman's "Worst In The World" competition (scroll down to "Bill O'Reilly Voted World's Worst by Keith Olberman (Again)"). I guess I'm just a softie, worrying that I'm not the only guy who's cracking up due to Christmas stress.

While we're on the "war," if you didn't see this, it's one of the funniest Jon Stewart bits in ages. While you're there, toss C&L a buck or two -- they provide an invaluable service, IMO.

But seeing as how it's such a lovely day here, I believe I'll take a nap, my belly now being packed with cholesterol and the love of our savior. I'll be back later, beer-in-hand... and probably with more Curly pix.
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More Curly For Thursday Catblogging Fans

Blue Cat, Grey Day

Blue Curly

Well, it's cold, wet and nasty here in Gnashvegas, TennisShoe. A perfect day to call off work (I'm not feeling well; prob'ly a combo of too much stress, too little sleep, and whatnot). I've got 44 hours on the books this week, already, and a trip to Crack'Ho Barrel for Mama's French Toast Breakfast sounds like just the salve I need (and then, a nice, wintry-day nap).

As evidenced by the pixels above, I could also stand to learn how to focus this new camera. :) The freakin' thang came with separate manuals for nearly every Earth language (when combined, easily outweighing the camera itself by a factor of 5x), so I may also brush up on my Italian while I'm at it. ;)
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As implied below...

... today was a bad day at work. First, they had wanted everyone to come in at 9:00 a.m., since a couple of the domestic call centers were expected to be closed due to bad weather, and call volume was supposed to be through the roof for us, today. Turned out not to be so true -- those who arrived early had a slightly-above-average call volume (turns out neither call center was officially closed, and although one had high absenteeism, the other was staffed normally), and those I spoke to reported way above average "cust sat" issues -- people calling because their systems had not arrived yet, or a change or cancellation of an existing order, etc.

I decided last night that I would not arrive before 11:45 a.m. (my scheduled start time), primarily because I needed to sleep, and secondarily because I had been ordered to produce proof of citizenship by the temp firm. That meant that I had to get up early, and travel to the Social Security office, to obtain proof that I am who I say I am (is there any possibly way I could not be a hillbilly...?). As many here know, our federal system of bureaucracy means that one must take a number, and sit in uncomfortable chairs for prolonged periods of time, as was the case, today (side note: federal officers at the SocSec office are damned serious about the "no cell phones" rule -- they barked at one dude who didn't have his shut off, and I thought the Taser was coming out any moment; now what the fuck is it about the SocSec office that a cell phone could provoke such a response?). Anyway, I got to work at the appointed time, and got right down to bidness.

Now is the question: Why, exactly, did I need to do this? Because, I made the mistake of not getting a receipt for my Social Security card when I gave it to the temp agency recruiter a couple of months ago. That's right -- I got my driver's license back from her, but not the SocSec card -- apparently, I didn't notice that day, and she apparently lost it before making a photocopy for the I-9 verification.

Why am I surprised? After all, this place can't even pay me correctly, ever. Ever!

Then, I talked to fifteen people before I made the day's "first" sale (not counting the last call that closed after midnight the day prior, and the system I sold to Dear Sarah, after hours). I literally could have slept in, and came to work at 5:30 p.m., and the results would have been the same from a sales perspective. Every sellable call I got, I kept the customer on the phone, answering every question, joking with them, building rapport, etc., because I can tell when people are intent on actually buying, and I wasn't going to rush any of those folks today -- no way, Jose. Our "team coach" bitched me out for that, and I showed him my sheet, littered with our shorthand for "didn't qualify for financing, had no money; transferred to (our rent-to-own partner)," and gave him my best "shut the fuck up" look. It must've worked, 'cause it would be hours later before he approached me again. Even then, he quipped that he was surprised that I had closed the last sale (he listened to much of the call), since the guy was all over the map with tech questions, and he said I didn't "control the call" as I should have. I said, "Look -- I sold the guy a nearly $2000 PC, and he called me asking about refurbished systems. You want me to blow off a sale to the refurb department so I can take another call, when I can spend ten extra minutes answering questions to close a high-margin box?" Repeat production of call tracking sheet, and facial expression. :)
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Leave Me Alone With That Flashing Thang!

I'm Eating!Uh... can't you see I'm trying to eat, here, bitch?

Just got home from another grindingly painful day at the American sweatshop, where 75% of my calls were completely and obviously unsellable -- I had a large number of people applying for credit that could not qualify, and had no credit cards, so... off to the rent-to-own people they would go.

Have to go to court again tomorrow for the expired tags situation, so arising at 9:00a for the 10:30 court appearance.

At least the Canon Powershot A410 arrived, today (as evidenced by pixels to your left). :)
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Secret Garden

I suppose it wouldn't take a sykyatrist* to analyze the dream which awoke me this morning.

I was in a classroom, but selling computers over the phone. The teacher called me to the front of the room, handed me a piece of paper, and told me I needed to see the principal. So, I go to the principal's office, hand her the piece of paper, and she asks me, "Did you say this?" as she hands it back to me. I look at it for the first time, and it has a code on it for something at work. I reply, "Sure -- what's wrong with that?" The principal says, "Well, nothing -- it's just that one of your co-workers overheard you talking to this customer, and they complained. No big deal -- you can get back on the phones, now."

I go back to the classroom, and walk up to the teacher, to let her know what transpired. "You understand that we can't have your co-workers offended by your conversations with customers, right?" I explained that the customer was turned down for credit, and had told me (and here, in the dream, I break down, completely, and start crying uncontrollably) that her son had lost his legs in Iraq, and she was hoping to be able to get a computer to help him to learn new skills. "All I said was that I hoped her son comes home soon and safely... and then I transferred her to (our rent-to-own partner)."

Man, I'm still creeped out by that.

* Thanks to the Eschaton trolls for that one.
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Sunday, December 04, 2005

The WSMV Taketh Away

I wanted to put this picture of Joe Biden here so I don't forget what he looks like. See, my local NBC affiliate here in the greater Gnashvegas area used to re-run Timmeh Russert's Press The Meat on Mondays at 1:30 a.m. CST. Seeing as how the live airing happens at a time when I need to be asleep, this was a great boon to a Timmeh junkie like myself.

Now, I get to watch a re-run of Crossing Jordan, instead.

Yeah... like I'm gonna bother with that crap.
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Saturday, December 03, 2005

Totally Random Video Catblogging

1.4 MB WMV file; Music: "Western Vacation," by Western Vacation, w/Reckless Fable.
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Warning to all dogs

Don't fuck with porcupines!

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Friday, December 02, 2005

November: Not a Qualifying Month

... which means that the earliest I could be offered a permanent position at the corporate masters' workplace would be February, 2006. I was just short on a couple of metrics to qualify for November. None of the five folx who trained with me that are on the present team qualified, and I did come closer than anyone else -- in fact, my total-margin-per-unit was higher than most of the experienced reps on the team, and higher than the entire center's average. That's because I try to only sell people the computer that will actually do what they tell me they want to do with it, instead of an "empty box" that might guarantee a sale at a rock-bottom price, but ultimately ends up with a customer who is disappointed with their new system. Everyone wishes they could buy a $299 PC that will do video editing and play Call Of Duty, but trust me -- it ain't gonna happen this year. :)

Of course, this news was given in a one-on-one session in my manager's open cube, in somber tones. I was told that I was making great progress, and that he recognized that my many years of experience in the industry would be a great asset to the company, but that since I had hired in as a sales rep, I needed to prove myself in that role before being shown a plethora of wide-open doors that existed in the company.

My response? Well, I let him know that I never expected any special treatment due to my previous experience, and that I fully intended to do the best job I can as a sales rep -- and so long as meeting customer needs is not simply lip-service, I should continue to prosper in the role. Obviously, I quite enjoy helping people connect with the technology they need, at all levels. That's where I derive satisfaction from this ridiculous job; ultimately, I get to help people do what they need to do, even if they have to spend more than they expected when they called in. If they can't afford what they need, at least when our conversation is over, they understand what the options are, and why they'll have to spend more money down the road in order to achieve certain goals.

What I didn't tell the boss is that I'm not convinced there's a good fit, here. I'll do my best -- but I'm not sure I like the prospects of working in a place where I can expect a nasty e-mail because I took too long taking a dump. I'm also, frankly, very concerned about a career in a place where it is viewed as completely and unquestionably reasonable that all of the flexibility, resourcefulness and responsibility is on the shoulders of the lowest-paid workers in the organization; where not even missing 20% of one's paycheck is a situation that one's immediate supervisor will insert themselves into to correct, and prevent from happening again, in the future.

The first week on the floor, my manager told all of us new hires that he "never wanted to hear a complaint that wasn't accompanied by a proposed solution." Well, as luck would have it, a few weeks ago, the entire team was hit with a slew of "policy violations" -- that is, third-party call auditors had determined that some of us were not reading one or more of the various scripts to our customers, verbatim. As it so happens, the violations centered around a recently-changed service policy script, and no one on the team had received the new script. Now, since we have a supposed "integrated desktop" application for completing orders, one might easily expect that such a script change would be incorporated into that software -- where every rep on the floor would have instant, incontrovertable access to the changes as they were implemented. Alas -- it is not there, to this day. We now have it on paper, or on another app, called "Policy Buddy," with either method, obviously, being anything but integrated into the "integrated" order software.

I got on the net, found the white paper that Micro$oft published concerning this integrated app (that they helped to develop, of course), and discovered that the whole shebang was built within the .NET framework. That means that changing nothing more than some text for the sales reps to read to the customer is a simple matter of updating one XML file with a few lines of text. When I told the manager that if he would loan me out to the development team for one day (or less), I could implement this change, and walk it through QA and into production, his response was that "It would take an act of Congress" to make something that simple happen in the app.

Okay.

I complained, and I proposed a solution that I would stake my fucking job on being able to do successfully. Where did that get me? Nowhere.
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