presto change-o!

... and how easy are they?

Damned EASY, I tell ya. I set out to replicate Nashville's Mas Tacos recipe, and I rocked it, IMO. EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: Proceed ONLY if you like fish, cilantro and lime. These are non-negotiable!

In rough order of criticality:

Bake ya some lovely fish. Use whatever you like! I was recently introduced to Trident "The Ultimate Fish Stick," which are lightly panko-crumb-coated wild Alaskan pollock fillets -- not minced junk fish. Four pounds at Costco run $11.99, here. You'll need four sticks per taco, which is, according to the package, one serving (160 calories). Just bake per instructions, and your efforts will be their own reward.

You'll also need some tortillas. Some people say you must use corn tortillas for fish tacos. I say FUCK that noise, but whatever you like is fine!

The rest of it is dead-easy: open bag/jar, tear shit up/spoon it out, or sprinkle. 60 seconds of prep for each ingredient on all the following, tops.

Get the rest of this stuff ready while the fish is baking in its last three minutes. First, tear some fresh cilantro, to taste (or if fussy, chop to desired fineness). I like a lot. I discard the stems, mostly, and just use the leaves. Fresh cilantro doesn't keep worth a damn, so you'll have to buy a little bunch every couple of days. Even if you eat fish tacos for every meal, and use as much as I do, the tiniest amount of cilantro you can buy in stores is enough for 48 fish tacos. I usually end up throwing away at least half of every bunch of fresh cilantro I buy. Fortunately, a mess of cilantro most places is ~50 cents. However, fresh cilantro is critical, IMO, to this recipe! If you no likey cilantro, go have a good burger, or scrambled eggs instead. The holy trinity of tastes here is fish, cilantro and...

Pictured: About half the cilantro that$0.50-0.89 will buy you

Lime. Buy a fresh one. That'll run you about 50 cents, too, and will cover dozens of tacos. You just need a thin wedge's-worth of fresh lime juice for each taco, really.

Also, you can shred/grate your own cabbage like a sucker, if you want. I just bought an $0.89 bag of fresh cole slaw mix. The shredded cabbage (and carrot, if included) provide plenty of crunch and fiber. This honestly is here more for your health -- it's pretty taste-neutral, and you won't taste it, and yet it is SO good for you and the texture it adds to the meal is invaluable. I recommend a hearty 1/2-cup/taco to really fill things out and to fill you up, and keep the insoluble pooperhighway moving along.

Last and least is condiments, and these are entirely optional. Mas Tacos makes their own yogurt sauce, and it is... well, the rest of the orgasmic flavors really block out the minor role played by the yogurt sauce, to be honest. I couldn't even attempt to replicate it, because it's barely a face in the crowd in the original movie. I used instead a teaspoon/taco of this, schmearing it on a freshly-microwaved tortilla before adding all the other ingredients:

... as it blends nicely with everything else. I would go lightly with this, so as not to make it too heavy, oily. Just get a tart pickle taste, or use salsa or make up a yogurt sauce if need be. Sweet pickle relish might be a nice substitution, or a bit of minced sweet onion. This is not so important. I leave this to you!

The last, least-critical (for many) condiment is cayenne pepper. I love hot, spicy food, but I went light on this, not wanting to overwhelm the beautiful symphony of fish stick, cilantro and lime. But a little bite makes this perfect, for me.

A quarter-teaspoon/taco should be plenty for starters, for most. If that small amount is insufficient once you taste it, you have my permission to defile it further.

But please, for Christ's sake, until you try it this way, don't put cheese or salt on it. We're trying to eat healthy in a way that makes us have to change our drawers without resulting to American culinary tricks, eh? I'm a heart patient, trying to not eat like a teenager, but goddamn, I love delicious food! I drink excellent microbrews like Prohibition II might happen tomorrow, and eat meals like this AND STILL manage to lose a pound a week. To those in my boat, let me just say that this meal will make you glad to be alive!

In closing, if I had to make a request for a last meal, today, this would be that meal. Two of these tacos, prepared as described are under 800 calories, and jammed with good and healthy things that will benefit the human organism from brain to asshole. This meal will also keep you from being hungry for at least six hours, as its packed with protein and enough good fats to keep your belly from complaining. This is honestly one of the most delicious concoctions I have ever stuck in my big face hole. You A FOO' not to try them ASAP!
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