Okay, Ms. Beep: Git Yer Freak Awn

There's a column in The Tennessean, apparently penned by someone known as "Ms. Beep," (a/k/a Kate Howard) and it's about driving in Gnashvegas. Oh boy. Well, I'll be honest --I don't read The Tennesean, and had it not been lying on the table I sat down at for lunch at Bread & Co. on Friday after depositing my first Vanderbilt paycheck, I wouldn't have seen this article.

Ms. Beep is going without her car for a week, it seems. Haw!

Well, Ms. Beep, I commend you. I have some libertarian friends who I wish would try that, sometime. You know the types -- the ones who think the solution to littering at bus stops is for cops to stake them out, and write $100 littering citations, rather than have the city spring for $20 each for a trash can at the bus stops.

Some of you will know this, but I am Mr. Alternative Transportation. Being unemployed and/or self-employed has taught me a lot about independence, and thinking in unconventional terms about matters that most people take for granted. Take cars, for instance. Everyone takes having a car as being a fact of life. Almost every adult in the U.S. has at least one automobile.

Not me, not any longer -- and never again, if I can help it.

They're wasteful most of the time. Look around you at the number of people, sitting alone, driving that big SUV at the next stop light. Why fire up an F-250 to drive four blocks to the grocery store for a six pack? Why make insurance companies filthy rich, when they stiff people for absolutely no reason (think New Orleans)? Why spend $100 week on fuel to move your narrow, white ass to and from work? What makes you so special?

I live 1.5 miles from the nearest bus stop, so I've logged a lot of shoe wear getting to/from the bus. Today, I uncrated the brand new BladeZ E-Lite 250 electric scooter, which has been in a cardboard UPS box on my front landing since the day it arrived in mid-November. See, I bought this on eBay for $184.99, shipping included, the day before I met my Chinese Death Machine. The CDM took all the need/desire out of using a device that can only travel 10 miles on a charge, and has a top speed of 12mph. However...


With the CDM in the shop at A-1 Funcycles, and a paycheck in the bank, rather than try again to sell the E-Lite 250 for what I have in it (unsuccessfully, thus far), I decided to break it out, and use it to get to/from the bus stop. It works very well, and I'm sure today's trip would have been perfect, had I charged the battery for eight hours before using it, but I was impatient, and figured if I got 3 miles out of it, I was golden, anyway. :) UPDATE: I neglected to mention, the electric scooter weighs 42lbs., and the handlebar folds down to the deck, and hooks securely, so it can be carried, one-handed, onto the MTA buses! Dang! I may park the CDM for my workday commutes!


It's no where as fun as the CDM -- there's just no comparison. And, it's trickier, really -- it's like riding a low-powered skateboard with a handlebars/steering. Do not try this even slightly inebriated, folks, unless you just enjoy emergency dental surgery. :)

Still, the main point is this:

90mpg 150cc Chinese Death Machine: $1300
BladeZ E-Lite 250W: $185 (w/free helmet!)
Bus Fare: FREE (to Vandy folx) to $1.25/leg of trip (cheaper passes available)
Backpack: $12
Less karmic debt caused by foreign oil dependency: Priceless.
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