Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Dear Ivy

Thank you so much for offering to foster my kittehs for a time while I look for a runway to land this crazy thang. I figured I should put together a somewhat-comprehensive reference guide to co-habitating with these guys with a minimum of issues on the part of any of the involved parties, so here goes!


Curly, the fat tabby, is pretty self-sufficient. I expect he will be most likely to want to hang out with y'all from the git-go. Very easy-going gato. He will expect a few minutes of petting and attention when people wake up, come home after an extended time away (like the workday) and right before bedtime, but other than that, he won't be terribly needy under normal circumstances. He's the old man -- will be 12 in June. But he has the heart of a kitten, and likes to play, and also to wrestle with LarryElvis (during which time he will scream bloody murder, pretending to be mortally injured, but he's not hurt until he starts the low growl and the hissing -- at that point, a loud handclap usually breaks up the fun).

Curly likes:

* Petting -- Begin with top of head, cheeks, down the back and tail. Ears, chin, sides, later. Advanced: Nose & eyes, and chest -- His Favorites!  Only pat him at the base of the tail, and not much, at that.
* Dry food -- I'll supply.
* Water -- He drinks a lot of water. Diabetic?  Possibly.
* Hearing his name, especially if you're too busy to pet him.
* Play -- Needs none other than what L.E. will provide. A laser pointer is good for a laugh, usually.
* Litter Box -- Just keep clean (no more than 2 days between scooping), and I suspect he will be fine, there.
* Sleeping -- On dirty clothes, generally, or preferably under the covers with J.P. (I don't expect you to let either cat in your bedroom for any reason, so don't worry about that).

Curly dislikes:

* Loud/sudden noises.
* Being picked up/held. He probably won't even try to sit in anyone's lap, etc. At most, he might rest his front paws on a thigh. If he HAS to be picked up, he probably CAN be, safely, but I can't predict. He dislikes it, but will tolerate ME doing it, and I do it often to get him used to the idea that I AM THE BOSS.  :)
* Doesn't like his paws messed with. Yes, he lets ME do it, but again, I'M THE BOSS.

Curly's annoyances:

* May find a piece of upholstery to stake out as a scratching post.
* May throw the occasional hairball, although the Iams food keeps that to a minimum.
* WILL go on the floor if the litterbox hasn't been scooped in a couple-three days!


The meezer is pretty dumb, VERY vocal and extremely  affectionate. He will take petting over food 99% of the time. He is also quick to go from affectionate to playful, so I recommend NOT petting him for more than a minute or two at a time, unless he likes someone enough to "assume the position" (paws on shoulder, head against neck, being cradled like a baby being burped) -- at that point, he can be petted for as long as one can stand to pet him, and he won't get sassy at all. It's best to start by just letting him rub his face all over your hand, which he will do until he gets tired of it, and that'll be all he really needs... but he'll need that every 30 minutes for a couple of minutes each time. He's very needy. And he won't shut up until he is asleep.

Larry likes:

* Petting, but BE CAREFUL not to overdo it, or he will  nip and paw/claw. Also NO PATTING, EVAR!  He considers that to be Cat Assault, and will over-respond with the pointy bits!  Oddly, he can deal with near-unlimited belly rubs, and doesn't get attack-y. He'll stretch out to let you know when he's up for that, btw. He doesn't seem to have any spots he doesn't like being touched, including feet and paws.
* Petting -- See #1.
* MOAR Petting -- See #1 & #2
* Playing with/annoying Curly. Allow at all times.
* Playing with string being dragged on the floor, paper bags.

Larry dislikes:

* Loud/sudden noises.
* Sudden movement -- may induce a mad scramble to find a short-term hiding place.
* PATTING. Don't!

Larry's annoyances:

* Needy, and vocal about it. Let him rub his face on your hand for 30 seconds, and he'll get over it for 30-60 minutes, though.
* Drops kibble EVERYWHERE. He can't just stand at the bowl and eat like a normal fucking cat. Or keep all the food in his mouth as he walks around. "OMG, kill the kitteh!  I stepped in crunchy bits 15 times getting to the bathroom!"
* Licking -- OMFG, THE LICKING!
* Likes to seek out the high ground, which means he will get on countertops and/or any horizontal surface he sees that might lead to higher ground.
* I expect him to go into hiding for a couple of days when he arrives. He may freak out, but he'll use the litterbox and eat his kibble from Day One -- he just may not be sociable at first. Once he is, OMG, you'll be ready to hand him back ASAP.
* You will find at least a dozen other thangs annoying about L.E., but they will pretty much fit into all the aforementioned categories.  :)

Okay!  I think this will help minimize the usual insanity caused by cats, in general.  :)