Sunday, November 12, 2006

This Week's Insane Idea, #47

Can ya see JP (a/k/a, Our Hero) as street vendor, in floppy red, white and blue Uncle Sam novelty hat from Spencer Gifts, hawking this frickin' thang:

Yeah, I know... WTF izzit? Well, I'll tell ya -- simmer down, you! Cheese, Louise... y'all are so impatient!

This is a Swipes™ reusable eyewear lens cleaner, and this mutha is handier than a pocket on a shirt. Won't scratch plastic lenses, dishwasher safe (for cleaning), and the best stocking stuffer on the planet. Everone who wears external lenses of any sort needs one of these, and would love to have one. Combine it with a teensy dab of that Aldi hand sanitizer on each lens' surface, and you got a lens cleaner that not even dried gorilla snot can frustrate. Of course, if you're close enough to a gorilla as to allow its snot to land on your glasses, you might have bigger issues than dirty glasses. ;)

You can get these from me, postpaid, for $7.00 each, or 4 for $21.00 ("buy three, get one free!"). Or, you can get one at Walgreen's for $3.99. :)

Can you see me doin' this, though? Toolin' downtown around lunchtime, sellin' these until I make $30+ during lunch, and spending the rest of my time jackin' around the 'net with you yahoos? Would that fuckin' rawk, or what?!?

UPDATE: Lookee what I did -- integrated the Swipes™ with an old badge lanyard. Now, I have scooter and house keys and Swipes™ right at hand, at the ready, allatime. I can sell a metric buttload of these, I know. And think of it -- if I make $30/day, that will pay not only my rent, but food for Curly and me, and gas for the scooter, etc. All else is gravy.

I could not have arrived at this improbable place without y'all -- Thank You And You And You And You And You.

UPDATE II -- Speakin' of smudgy glasses, I almost forgot about this asshole.
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3 comments :

Anonymous said...

This looks like a freat item. With dirty lenses, I find it impossible to use my garlic peeler or breadcrust trimmer.--Draco

Pen Ultimate said...

Thank, Draco! Yeah, it's the little thangs, sometimes... I expect to sell a bunch of them, if I can hook up with the wholesaler.
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grandefille said...

Dude. I would DRIVE to Nashville to get those from you. Everybody on my gift list wears glasses now, I think. Plus, with a toddler with allergies, a hyperactive Border collie and HarryCat all in the house, we know snot. A lot. Will be in contact ASAP.

I'm not sure whom you'd talk to at the Arcade to do it, but they would eat you up (along with your glass-cleaner thingies) between about 11 and 1:30 down there when everybody goes to lunch and on walkabout. Wahoo!

Good luck!

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