bensonmum

For the uninitated, here's the quick and easy way to get trolls out of your life, dear Atriot. Follow these steps in order, skipping only the ones you have already installed:

• Install Firefox 3.5.5 on yer PC (most Mac users report this is working for them, as well)
• Install the Greasemonkey add-on for Firefox
• Install the bensonmum script for Greasemonkey
• If you were already using Greasemonkey, and using the "killfile" script, disable it for now. bensonmum NOW incorporates killfile functionality, so chances are you won't want to go back to killfile. But you can keep it if you like, but DO be sure to disable it.

FAQ

WHAT DOES IT DO?

It hides comments from anyone not using a Gravatar. Don't worry -- you can still see those comments if you hover over the "view" link provided next to that non-Gravatar-using-person's nym. If that person's NOT a troll, you can even add them to your "friendlies" list (the "Chosen" list in bensonmum -- the "Damned" list contains all the bad guys you've killfiled) by clicking on the "view" link!

HOW DOES THAT HELP ME?

Disruptive trolls are notorious non-users of Gravatar -- getting Gravatars impedes their ability to quickly morph names, steal names and all the lovable antics trolls are known to use. Because of the way bensonmum authenticates users, trolls can change names all they like -- but they'll stay blocked if you've blocked them, before (or left them blocked by dint of not having a Gravatar).

WON'T TROLLS JUST GET GRAVATARS?

Sure, but by clicking on bensonmum's "hide" link for those users, you can killfile the poor bastards, and then they'll have to go through the process of getting another e-mail account, getting a new Gravatar, etc. before you ever see their comments again. They'll get bored with all the work they have to do, soon enough (in fact, trolling is WAY down, less than 24 hours after the first version was put in the field!).

What we've observed in the first week of bensonmum's deployment is more of the same ol' antics (such as the several comments starting from here, on down). Again, since these geniuses are generally not bothering to get Gravatars, bensonmum hides their spoor by default. In other words, while modern science has given us color-safe bleach, it has failed to give us Troll Brightener, to date. :)

If you can't scroll past childish taunts like this, maybe the Internet is not the place for you.

WHAT WILL IT DO IN THE FUTURE?

I'll let you know. It's just 24 hours old, and it already does everything *I* need it to do, right now. :)

WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE IT?

You can turn off scripts easier than Bob (and back on again, if you like). You can also use another browser. Still, you'd be nearly insane not to like it and/or use it when infestation levels are high.

I HATE THAT IT PUTS YOU AT THE BOTTOM OF THE COMMENTS!

Instead of using the yellow bar at the bottom to refresh the page, right-click and use the "Reload" command from the context menu, and you'll end up roughly where you left off (thanks to DWD for discovering this!).

WHO DID IT?

dirk gently, world-famous troll tormenter and Master Coder! THANK YOU, KIND SIR!

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HUMOROUS UPDATE: One of the cipherin' geniuses is trying to convince those very few still listening to The Ignored that he's discovered TEH SEEKRIT CODE! He's gonna bust bensonmum any minute now -- in fact, he already has! :lol: See, by stealing my nym and my public e-mail address (posted plainly at the top of this very site), he's got everyone fooled into thinking he is me!

He seems to have no problem coming up with the right MD5 hash, given the e-mail address (well, duh); let's see him do it the other way round:

08a1fc75ac535c140101e75651fa8a64

What's the e-mail address for THAT, Prof. Puddingless?
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