Nice Pan

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Caturday In Cascadia

My quarters up the creek.  :)

Awaiting tools to finish the APAP power assembly.

Honda Ruckus!
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Weekend Recap, Succinct w/Lessons Learned

Wink is deceptively simple... for morons, apparently. If I hadn't seen this screen 100 times since Friday evening, I wouldn't have had to viciously cockpunch that old man for innocuously uttering "uh-oh" in my presence, today.  ;)

Eighth and Roast's hipster/quasi-vegan (not) biscuits are small, pricy and delicious.

Landlady felt guilty, gave me this.  :)

There are good people doing good works in Nashville. Click to, well, you know. h/t Ed.

Honda kicks major ass, forever and always, ramen.

Mormons can  be people, despite the majority who present as advanced androids with can opener personalities.

Awww, KITTEH!

Awww, HOPPY BEER!  I want the 12pk/2-flight "Deconstructed" set... brewmaster preparatory classes!

Steve is a fellow Smyrnan, rides a kickass Vespa 300ie Super and knows some awesome backroads in Roofie County. Also?  Hell of a Nice Guy, and newish friend. Here's our ride today, map junkies!

Steve and I are considering a counter-club alternative to Nashville's The Snakes SC. That would be the Volunteer Scooter Cooter Collective of Middle Tennessee. Must be age 40 or over to enter. And if your main ride is Chinese, under 100cc or pink and/or flowery, you must have a visible tattoo.  ;) Face/neck, preferably.

GoodYear is spying on me. I knew I shouldn't have started with the Michelins and the Wink mesh net.
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Offered Without Comment.

h/t racymind.
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Dear Asurion

Well, that's so nice of you to suddenly become concerned, Asurion. Really, I'm touched!  Allow me to make a somewhat  different proposal.

I'd be more than happy to write up a detailed report of your immense shortfalls in this matter. I can't do that for you, for free... after all, you've asked me in this comment for a consultation to improve your customer service, ostensibly, and it would take many ADDITIONAL hours of my time (by which I mean the wasted, uncompensated hours I've spent since March, '14, chasing down this claim) to repeat what your CRM software should, by all rights, have assembled for you a good summary of precisely what occurred.

If you would like my consultation, I offer it at $500/hour. You may reply to this e-mail address (sent 6/25/2014) with any response.

UPDATE: E-mail bounced. Takin' it to the streets.

Delivered-To: j****@***.com

Received: by 10.216.182.132 with SMTP id o4csp269226wem;

        Wed, 25 Jun 2014 21:27:02 -0700 (PDT)

[...]

   ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----

    (reason: 554 5.4.6 Too many hops)

[...]

(much SMTP bilge deleted now -- point made)

UPDATE 6/28/14: Nice to see I have their attention, every day. Even Saturday!

click to embiggen.

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Sunday's Screamin' Hoot

Git a brane, morans!  h/t Pupienus Maximus, of Sadly, No! fame.
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Spectacles

Pair the First. The main pair (bifocals), the frames had to be ordered. Still, these, the far-vision pair... much improved over my 10+ year-old prescription!

I paid $168 out-of-pocket, of which I should get back $138 from the company (I had the optional retinal scan thang done, which is not covered by my insurance, and the company pays $150 towards frames and lenses not covered by the plan).
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So, The Point Was...

I only listened once, because this shitbag makes me ill -- just his voice, mind you. But at some point he says (paraphrased) that "... those two words distracted from the point I was trying to make." Which was...

... that she should reduce her sexual encounters (or at least the ones that might lead to conception) to a level where she wouldn't have any sensible desire for her health insurance to cover contraceptives without a co-pay?

... That women who want their health insurance to cover contraceptives without a co-pay should have to make amateur porn for fat drug addicts to get hard by?

... That surely buying cars for women who want to have sex in back seats of cars is an absolutely logical extension of what benefits insurance companies would have to cover if women are able to have their health insurance to cover contraceptives without a co-pay?

Or...?

The "two words" bullshit is, in fact, complete, utter bullshit.

This guy has got to go.
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No. Fuck That.

I don't want Congress to give us all the same healthcare coverage that they have.

I want Congress to take, 3 out of 12 months, the same healthcare coverage I have. Let's make it four. Consecutive months. Wait to have that mole checked on Month Five, Boehner. Can't take a piss, Mr. Lieberman? You can see the doctor in July.

I can't sleep, and I am pissed off.
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Plum P Tries

... to blow my tiny li'l mind by sending me a Christmas card featuring tots playing hockey on an impressionistic field of molten lava.

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One More Stab

Pray or sacrifice a chicken (or turkey, etc.) for me.

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I Was Brutally Attacked By Obama Supporters!

It was bound to happen.

I was out stealing McCain/Palin signs last night, and I've been riding past a lot of construction sites on the Vino; there's a lot of remodeling going on over in West Meade. Sure enough, I picked up a big-assed nail in my brand new front tire, last night. I didn't have my cell with me, so I set out on foot to Post Rd., and over to Lion's Head, to use a pay phone. I have free towing on both scooters -- all I had to do is call, and they'd take it straight over to ESS for me.

I laid my stolen sign (I only found one!) in the floorboard, and started walking down Hillwood. I was wearing my geeky "optic yellow" safety vest, since it was dark and overcast.

I hadn't gotten 50 ft. from the scooter, and a car stops beside me, its window rolling down.

"Young man, can I offer you a ride?"

"Yes, ma'am -- I'd appreciate it. I just need to go to Lion's Head Plaza to use a phone."

She waves me into her late-model Lincoln. She tells me she was going to Office Max @ Lion's Head to return a printer, anyway.

"Would you mind helping me get it out of my trunk, and carrying it into the store?" Hey, sounds good to me... after all, it's not every night a 60+ year-old lady will pull over to pick up a big stranded guy in a leather jacket.

We pull into the lot, beside the Office Max, which seems a little odd... there's several parking spots close to the door, but whatever. We get out, she pops the trunk. I lift the trunk, and see nothing the size of a printer. Next thang I know, I'm in a choke hold, and I smell chloroform.

I'm a goner.

One of the Office Max people who was leaving for the night saw me laying in the parking lot, and revived me. He asked if he should call 911, etc., but I just thanked him, and asked if I could use a phone. He introduced himself as Amir the Office Max Clerk; I told him I was Jeff the Scooter Guy. He handed over his cell phone, and complimented my haircut, which I thought nothing of -- he was a young guy with a close-crop, too. I call the MTS folx, and tell them where to pick me and the scooter up, and away we go.

When I finally got home, I discovered what Amir and later, Bill the Tow-Truck Driver were talking about:

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So, beware... it could happen to you!
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Gone, Baby, Gone

My boss told me today that they've decided to "go another direction" in the position vacancy, opting for someone who's more a writer/editor than whatever it is that I do there. :) Fortunately, I'm being given 30 days to figure out Plan C (waiting for word on Plan A prevented Plan B from happening (totally my fault -- more is lost through indecision and appeals to emotion, etc.), but that avenue's not totally closed; more later, as I set out additional feelers), and there's some chance that VTS will need me for something, perhaps.

I'd be open to doing the video stuff for PPI, btw, if the price is right, Ashley-style. GEAR-UP is in 30 days.
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Kymcojones!

Yep. Rode the #7 bus to downtown @ 11:23, to catch the #26 bus @ 11:50, and landed at East Side Scooters about 12:02. A sole Kymco People 200 in a lonely lot... but it wasn't gonna stay that way, long. Thanks, James Duer... you have a happy customer (so far)!

My two scoots. Worlds apart. I had to watch my speed, 'cause of the break-in, and because I was on 40mph limit roads driving it back to work (and driving it home from work). It takes about 1/4 throttle to get it up to 40, so careful is the watchword.

James' artful solution to mounting my temp tag (bread ties and scotch tape).

"Look, ma! I've just drove it from the lot to work, and from work to the condo, and already... 21 kilometers (it had 17.1km showing, for the test rides, etc.)! Er, um... 13 miles!"
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Some Curly's Birthday This Has Turned Out To Be

First, the landlord has to start demolishing the balcony, today, so Curly doesn't get to hang out in his Favorite Spot in His Known World.

Then...

Son of a motherless goat. I hate that shit.

I think I understand her reasons, though... and I suspect they go far beyond this one incident. The vibe was there*, and who knows what the new management team @ WKRN plans to do with the whole "experiment," anyway?

"What lesson were we to have learned?" I'll tell you, you thick-skulled simpleton: If you're liberal, don't fucking die, because some Cheetos-stained, hateful scumbag will write something nasty about you when you do. And it may be someone's job -- someone who's very much your ideological sibling -- to point out with as little vitriol as one can possibly muster, that someone wrote that vile shit about you.

I feel bad that I even brought it up. But knowing how seriously Brittney approached her job, I'm sure she saw it in her newsfeed long before that. Even on a weekend.

I miss her already. Best to ya, Blogdiva.

* Right after before that, I'd sent her an e-mail with a job opening. I hope she gets it, 'cause it sounds kickass, and she deserves to get a kickass job.
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Holy Shit, Batman! WiFi Motherlode!

Atriot ::matthew just sent me a metric shit-ton of AWESOME WiFi and PC goodies, gratis. Thanks, man! What a good home this stuff has found! There's so much stuff in this heavy li'l box, I haven't unpacked it all, yet... but there looks to be three 802.11g routers/access points, a wired hub, a Pinnacle video capture card/tuner, a semi-functioning Fujitsu notebook PC... and much, much more! Gosh, I'm flabbergasted! Thanks, again! Y'all are the best friends a geek ever had. :)

If I have postage to send you something, I'll share the love, if you have a need. There's a bunch of wired 100MB PCMCIA network cards here, too... so there's all sorts of goodies. Anything I'm not immediately going to use will go on the swap spot, so check there this weekend, and let me know if you have need of any of it. I know ::matthew won't mind, as he just wanted good homes for all of it.

Photos coming...

UPDATE: Here's some pix. I still haven't inventoried this stuff, 'cause I spent 90 minutes helping repay a little karmic debt, tonight... but this heaps onto the karmic pile, too. What great stuff!

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Scoot Check

Dang... just talked to an ol' motorcycle repair guy. He said he could swear my Chinese Ymoto scooter is not a 4-stroke engine, but a 2-stroke.
For those familiar with various petrol-powered lawn maintenance devices, you realize this means that oil must be added to the fuel, lest Very Bad Things start to happen to the engine.

Now, the owner's manual shows an oil tank or crankcase fill, one -- it's not clear. But given that the oil capacity is 1.0L, I have to wonder which it is...

I'm prepping for a true cross-town scooterrific adventure -- Madison, just north and east of me, about 11 miles, as the crow flies. It'll be 20 miles, by the time I circumvent the heavily-trafficked areas. However, first stop: Auto Zone.
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My New Theme Song

Fishhead, by Adrian Belew. Listen closely. :) It's me!
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Local Man Acquires Scooter, Breaks Leg

Not really -- but I wrenched the mutha pretty good. I'm gimping along okay today, though. Through the miracle of cheap, generic ibuprofen and the love of a good woman, I'll heal. So... which of you good women want to help the cause? ;) Ah, the mid-life crisis of the destitute geek-of-all-trades. :)

Here's how it happened: I rode the scooter from Carlos' house, two blocks from the condo. He cautioned me that it had more git-up-an'-go than it might seem, so he said, "Be fuckin' careful -- and drive it around your parking lots over there for a few hours to get a feel for it before you start crossin' town on it, mang. And always put on your helmet before you start the fucker up." Good advice from Carlos -- because about ten minutes into tooling around my condo parking lot, I accidentally goosed it just a bit as I was cornering, and reaching for the front brake, and I grazed the curb, toppling the scooter. My laughing ass was laying in the grass, with a 300lb. scooter on my lower left leg... no bruises, even, but I must've twisted my knee and ankle a bit, 'cause they're both pretty sore, today.

Wanna see the scoot-scoot?

110% street-legal, licensed, and registered to me and Tha Curl-dawg. Hey, if I drill a few holes in the helmet carrier... then again, I might not like cleaning cat shit out of it. ;)

Ain't it a beaut? I am soooooo happy.

How did me and the scooter hook up? Well, grab a cup o' coffee, and I'll tell ya all about it...

On Thursday, summer came back to Gnashvegas with a vengeance. 78ºF, sunny, light breeze -- perfect SoCal weather. I was still exhausted from lack of sleep all week*, but I got out to meet people early in the day. I was going to walk up to Aldi, and catch the bus into town to Cafe Coco, where I was gonna post some Curly, and talk with y'all. But a few things slowed me down -- I met a nice gent who was working on his daughter's condo in the next building. I got him a cup of coffee from my place, and we had a great li'l chat. He took some of my doctored HCA business cards (just to show that I might actually know a li'l somethin'-somethin' -- "Ooh, Senior Application Engineer in Internet Strategy for a Fortune 100..." these could help me -- I cross out the phone and e-mail info, and write the current stuff on the back, along with, "PC problems solved, 24/7 -- quotes up front; No fixee, no payee," etc.), and said he'd get the word out.

Then, his daughter comes in for lunch. She works for the Metro Parks commission as a fitness trainer (mrrrrow!), appears to be single, has a lovely, rambunctious black lab, and (get this) she's also on the condo's HOA board. I told her if we could figure out some way to get me free WiFi at home, I'd build and maintain the HOA website gratis, and help organize users of said site (passwords for residents to get into discussion boards, etc.). She was all over that. So, I will not be online on 11/20/2006, 18:30, 'cause I've been invited to make a proposal to the HOA board at that time. :)

So, by this time, it's gettin' close to 13:00. I'm hungry, thinking seriously about a nap, to be honest... but it's sooo fuckin' georgous out, I just can't do it -- I wanna live to the fullest, today.

So, I eat a sammich, strap on the notebook, and head east on foot, towards Aldi and the bus stop. Along the way, just around the corner from Curly's place, there's a yard sale in progress. I decide to see if they've got some cheap queen-sized sheets, etc. Well, that's when I spied the shiny scooter you see about. The sign said "$1600 o.b.o.," so I asked the very pretty young lady to tell me about it. She explained that her English-speaking abilities weren't very comprehensive, and she would call her husband and let me speak to him. A minute later, I was talking to a man named Carlos, and he said it ran great, that he bought it for his wife, but she was scared of it, and never rode it farther than trying it out around the block one time. He said he used it a couple of times to jet to the store for small items a few times... and the odometer reads 462 miles. It's a 2005 model Y-Moto (Chinese) scooter, w/150cc engine... remote starting, alarm, storage... the works. Top speed of ~40mph, and it gets 90 miles to the gallon. Heh! Save the Earth, motherfuckers!

My next car will be a schweet Honda hybrid, or something even more eco-friendly, this I vow. But for now, I've made enough friends out of my neighbors that I've had multiple offers of rides to-and-from, if nowhere else, to the bus stops. So, if the weather is bad, I can trade friendship and tech advice/work for rides all winter long. I have a covered breezeway area to park the scooter, and everyone's cool with that, so... I fuckin' rule! ;) What a great, great week, my peeps!

* I got 9 hrs. Friday night/Saturday morning, and am almost rested, again, btw. :)
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Good Lord, It's Not Even 10:00

... not that I'm complaining. I'm just glad I'm blogging on a 100% free platform, not having to pay for bandwidth! :)

Hit #1000 (and yeah, this is my first-ever 1000-hit day): Boston, MA.
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