Dear Rebecca

I Am Not A Dick, but I play one on the Int3rtr0nz. In fact, I've been doing that for 25 years, come September. I do it quite well if I do say so myself (and I do).

Sincerely, I wish to help. I luuurve  Gawker Wonkette almost as much as Breaking Bad, so hopefully you will understand the gravity of this utterly untenable situation.

I'm not The Dick who wrote you about HNTP.com, but I could have been on the right day. I think I have an innate aversion to purple pixels, unless they're on a Ubuntu desktop wallpaper, where they are naturally, just fine. But, this is not the crux of the biscuit.