Would You Buy This T-Shirt?

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#KimDavis
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TV That's Good For You

My pal ThinlyVeiled unleashed this on some of us, earlier.

Jesus crack-smoking Christ, I can't believe what a bunch of pansy-asses we have become. Seriously, now we're canceling movies because someone who may or may not be a fucking 14 year-old script kiddie eating Cheetos in his mom's basement has major corporations and the American public by the short ones? Fucking really? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GODDAMNED FUCKING MORONS? You're scared of the black people. You're scared of the gay people. You're scared of the brown people with funny names. You're scared to go to a fucking movie. You say NOTHING when some crazy white boy shoots up a classroom of FIRST GRADERS. You cheer when cops kill young, black men and when the CIA tortures and humiliates HUMAN BEINGS for no good reason, not that it would be the decent thing to do even if there WAS a reason or even if it worked, because, you know, FUCKING TORTURE, ASSHOLES. You're goddamned scared shitless bed-wetting thumbsucking daddy issue having asshole shitbird twatlint dingleberry eating worthless motherfucking cocknozzles, is what you are and I don't even want to know you. Go hide under your covers and let the rest of us get on with the business of being decent humans.

Ow.

UPDATE: Relevant.
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Dear Rebecca

I Am Not A Dick, but I play one on the Int3rtr0nz. In fact, I've been doing that for 25 years, come September. I do it quite well if I do say so myself (and I do).

Sincerely, I wish to help. I luuurve  Gawker Wonkette almost as much as Breaking Bad, so hopefully you will understand the gravity of this utterly untenable situation.

I'm not The Dick who wrote you about HNTP.com, but I could have been on the right day. I think I have an innate aversion to purple pixels, unless they're on a Ubuntu desktop wallpaper, where they are naturally, just fine. But, this is not the crux of the biscuit.

First Of All

DON'T PANIC. Take a breath, let it out.

Our mission tonight (and up until Friday) is to figure out a way for me to get $5100 into the hands of my landlord by ~06/19/2010, keeping in mind that I'm probably about halfway there once the project money comes in. I'd prefer not to take in the rest in donations. I told the landlord that one way or the other, I'd try to present a plan for his consideration by this Friday, 4/30.

As some of you know, I'm also apparently still in contention for a regular web job at the same place (different department), and I have one local friend who has a contact there and has put in a good word... but I have yet to hear anything from them, even after my follow-up with them to let them know I'd be around, working on the aforementioned project.

So! What can we think of to clench that job for me?

Any and all ideas welcome.
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